On the Job Prowl - It's a Weird World out There!

hahaha! Patrick's on Craigslist doing the daily job prowl.  Stumbled across an ad for a "traffic instructor" and was seriously considering it, as I lay helpless with laughter oh I so love that man.  still giggling -- well, at least I'm laughing -- this man has accidents!  In cars!  On bikes.  On motorcycles.  On foot.

He is one more accident away from -- well never mind, it's just scary. I'm equally accident-prone (there's crutches in the garage just for me) but (knock on wood) not with cars, not so far.  But back to Patrick, no no no, my dear no to that one!! God help us all! We've got to know our own liabilities.

Equally absurd would be for me to work at something in the early morning. Or in the morning at all.

As far as I am concerned, that should be in the articles of the  Geneva Convention - no work must be forced upon a person that is not in accordance with that person's natural bodily rhythms -- something like that. I kick into gear around 2 pm, get really cranking by 7, and have to be forced into bed at 2 or 3 am, usually by one or the other of my daughters, both living many miles journey from my village -- but still these rascals catch me studying online at obscenely late, asleep-on-keyboard hours as they are into their morning hours.  They know my game.

Even from freaking Europe, they can see me.  But it works both ways, that techno bit. I love the technology that keeps us connected with all those people that you care about from whom you are separated from by -- Life.  There are so many many times in my life where I have had to shrug my shoulders, mumbling about non-attachment while another cycle of life ends and a person or people disappear for some reason -- it happens all the time.  Even to me; sometimes I think especially to me.

Of course my perspective is skewed; I do know that!  We've been in the 'Julie's 9 year period of Plutonian 'transformation' stew" for years now.  Are we cooked yet?  Oh good lord yes yes yes make it stop!!!  The thing about Plutonan periods is (people who haven't made a study of astrology and are skeptical of same, y'all skip on over the next few ruminations) they are LONG.  The thing about Plutonian periods involving mmm 8 planets & asteroids is that they are even LONGER.  Your goose gets just that many more years to cook, and simmering in this fashion is NOT NOT NOT fun.  Those of you who understand, will -- those of you who don't, never mind.  The gist of it becomes clear within a few years of reading the tortured ramblings of a poor demented soul going through such a passage.  Enjoy!

Bipolar Meltdown

Incognito.  I might as well write freely, as I doubt anyone will discover this; it's been so long since I have been able to write.  Bipolar Disorder steals everything; it steals your will to get out of bed.  It steals your will to write, to do what you have to do to survive.  And so I have been -- gone -- for a long, long time.

Mental Illness is not something we discuss very often.  I was married to a man for 13 years who to this day does not comprehend why I am not like normal women.  He need and eventually got one of those sturdy folks, god bless them truly, who can wield a vacuum cleaner, feed the husband properly, keep that big house clean, do the shopping and planning and cleaning that it takes to run a house properly.  Oh that ain't me babe, no no no that ain't me babe. That wasn't me he was lookin' for.

It stings to be regarded as "less than" others.  It does.  It hurts when you struggle to function, to do the things that seem so easy for everyone else.  It hurts when your own family hasn't the vaguest idea that your mind is a prison and your body won't work.  Mental illness isn't always easy to recognize, and IS very easy to pass judgment upon:  l'azy', unmotivated, dark energy.

Those judgments don't help the people you love, the ones that just don't seem to be all there.  Unfortunately, there's not a lot out there for the "mental" in our society.  In California they closed down most of those hospitals a long time ago - I don't know if that's good or bad, depending on how true to life "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" was.

So I'm sneaking back to write over here again.  My editor Jason, at www.politicususa.com, knows my situation and says I'm welcome back anytime.  Things are looking up.  I'm starting to write again.  The devils haven't gone away as my home is in danger and my fear is that I will be one of those cold people out in the rain, in the tent cities that are beginning to form in our nation.

Oh America -- what has happened to you?  We are your children, all of us!  The homeless, the mentally ill, the physically ill, the poor, the lame, the halt the illiterate, the professionals, the artistis  I still have my home for now, but the fear of losing it haunts my every waking hour.  Why?  Because one Bank already illegally foreclosed upon a home my nephew and I built.  I lost my life savings and stand to lose more.

It does not make me feel one whit better to know that I am not alone.  The suffering of every  cold, sick    and lonely human is my suffering.  We are all one, and we should act like it.

Politicususa.com

To those who stop by here from time to time -- please look for me on www.politicususa.com. I've got a home out there in cyberpolitical newsland --a newsite with a liberal and progressive bent. I feel it's a perfect home for me, and I hope you'll come visit me there.

I will probably stop by here when I'm mad enough to spit nails about something or other --

but the money must be made
the bills must be paid
and me
I'm still feelin' nailed to the Cross. (See Bank of America ABOVE in "Blogging My Recession")

Yours,

Julie Bryant